Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
