my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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