xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
