Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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