So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
