That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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