Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
