Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
