i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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