I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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