There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
