Small penises have feelings too.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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