you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
