I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
