well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
