Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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