i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
