How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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