Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
50% drunk capacity currently
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
