You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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