I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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