All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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