one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
