I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
