Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
