nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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