I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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