I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
