Can Purell be used as lube?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Randomize
