I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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