would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
