Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
