Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
