You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize