i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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