Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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