Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
