I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
