idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize