we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
