Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
