can we get nightvision for the apartment?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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