ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Barsexuality is the new black.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
