i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize