Me too!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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