Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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