i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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