He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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