I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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