Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
