Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
you never un-have a 4some
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize