Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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