oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
