"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
