Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
