I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
