we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
