Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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