Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize