So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
