I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
