believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
vagina is talking i cant
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
