worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
