I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
