I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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