I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
