Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
