i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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