Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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