no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
