I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
