puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
